Lost

I'm terribly sorry for not posting any pics. I don't have the camera this weekend. Which is the reason why I'm posting this. See, this weekend was suppose to be the best weekend ever, full of gettin' stuff done, working out, resting (I know I put those two right next to each other), skateboarding, and pretty much doing the things "I want to do" not "what I feel like I should do", all because Melissa and the kids went down to Panguitch. This was my chance to not feel guilty and do all the things I want to do. I always feel guilty because I want to go do certain things after work, but can't because it's usually at this time that Melissa needs a break from the kids. This break usually means I can swoop down in and help the kids get fed, bathed, and ready for bed. However, by the time I get home and help Melissa out I'm beat, and wanna go to bed or just hang-out with my wife.

So I went skateboarding and had fun with my younger brother this weekend. I also got a bunch of stuff done, including my "honey-do's". I even washed my car, slept in, worked out, and cooked some great food. However, there was a very hollow feeling this weekend that continues to gnaw at my insides. I kinda felt... ...lost. I really missed coming home to two kids yelling "Daddy!!!" and being greeted with a hug/love. I missed having a little boy come pounce on me right as I get comfy in the lovesac. I miss my little girl trying to get out of eating dinner, just so she can try to talk me into "watching cartoons and eating Laffy Taffy". Most of all, I miss my wife's gentle hugs and soft lips.

People say that "you don't know what you got until it's gone", but what I feel like it should say is that "you don't know how good it is until it leaves". My family is not the permanent gone, but just left for awhile. I also don't like when people say, "I don't know what I would do without my kids", but I understand. There just needs to be a better way to say it. Maybe... .... "having kids gives a new dimension to life, adding an array of wonderful and heart-breaking emotions that can't fully be explained".

I miss my family. I feel lost without them, and I'm thankful they are arriving back in the beautiful Salt Lake valley tomorrow. I miss you guys.

joe